I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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