so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
