Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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