Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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