I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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