I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I deserve this hangover.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
