Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you didnt know i had herpes?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
