I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
third nipple confirmed
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
