i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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