TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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