can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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