shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
