Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
