What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
