i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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