i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
