Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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