i barfeds in our rink
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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