oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
