Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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