i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
