Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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