I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
