he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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