quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
