they need to just BURY HIM!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
