Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
