so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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