Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
