Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize