it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
love makes seman taste better
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
