I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
did you just send me my own nude
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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