i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
