I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
