It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
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We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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