I've blown a few things in my day
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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