I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
