the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
