my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
