Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish i was in the wii world.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
