He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
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