Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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