Don't you send me to vm
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize