Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
