but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
