Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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