now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
