tell your sister to shave her snatch
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
