Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
