so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My vagina just recognized that song.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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