i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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