All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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