the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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