i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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