yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
