Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
