dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
