fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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