And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
