i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
